Dementia And Friends - Dementia Care and Help for A Friend
Helping a Friend with Dementia
Being told your friend has dementia can be difficult to process at times. You may have known this person for many years and noticed their personality changing a bit over the past while. They may have been more withdrawn, less talkative, and possibly repeating themselves more than they used to.
You are lucky that your friend (or their family) consider you close enough to share such a diagnosis with you. Unfortunately due to the stigma associated with any cognitive condition, many people choose not to share it and simply become less engaged with friends due to fear of them finding out or fear of being judged.
Deter Dementia was created to help you navigate this complex area and find solutions for both yourself and your friend.
We have resources for your friend if you’re closely involved in their life and looking to help. We also have lots of information on this site to help you. You can sign up for our newsletter to get regular updates or even join our Deter Dementia University program to educate yourself as much as possible.
If you want to do everything in your power to deter dementia for yourself, we’ll help you do that as well. We have lots of information on how to deter dementia and even more in-depth, customizable solutions for you if you were interested.
Let’s work together and make this easier for your friend, and also for you. And for that we need to start understanding the impact of dementia on a person who has been recently diagnosed.
The First Step to Helping a Friend After Diagnosis
Dementia brings a lot of changes into a person’s life which might not be apparent at first but as the disease progresses, these changes may start to become bothersome. However, someone who has recently been diagnosed with dementia is already living with lots of internal changes and must now be facing the worry of this new disease too. Therefore, it is important to follow a proper approach of care, love and understanding towards someone who is a dementia sufferer.
Especially as a friend, your role matters a lot. This is because people with dementia tend to self-isolate, dwell in overthinking, worry about what will happen to them and become depressed. All of these practices are very harmful for someone who is already facing progressive changes in their brain. Therefore, your role as a friend should be to improve their condition, adopt methods that strengthen their willpower and let them know they are not alone in this. At the same time, you need to give them space so they don’t get overwhelmed.
Educate Yourself First!
We at Deter Dementia aren’t just focused on catering to dementia sufferers, but we are also intent on creating an awareness in the community to facilitate care for all those with cognitive impairment. Our approach is to create a society educated about the impacts of dementia and the needs of a person with dementia. This includes:
Understanding the Emotional Impact of Dementia
A person diagnosed with dementia recently will undergo a lot of emotions. These mixed emotions may portray an image of wanting to be alone, anger, and resentment towards other people. Therefore, it is important to understand the emotional impact of dementia.
Catering To People with Dementia with Care
Treating people who are suffering from dementia should involve extra care but should be provided in a way that does not make them feel overly burdensome. Remaining part of the group and not feeling isolated can go a long way for individuals with cognitive impairment.
As the Disease Progresses
It is important to know that a person diagnosed with dementia will not always be the same as the disease progresses. This calls for different care strategies at different times.
How do you Help A Friend with Dementia?
Being diagnosed with dementia, the most common type of which is Alzheimer’s disease, can set off a chain reaction of feelings. Especially in the early stages of the condition, people with dementia may feel confused about how to live their lives and fear being stigmatized. A person may experience extreme social isolation during a period when they most need support from friends and the community.
If a friend of yours has received a diagnosis, you might also experience anxiety and confusion about the news. This can involve worries about your friendship’s future, how you can support them, how to not hurt them and how you can benefit your friend or their family. Gaining knowledge about the indications and care for dementia can make you feel more equipped to help them deal with this disease:
Communicate with Them
It is normal to feel upset when you hear of your friend being diagnosed with dementia but it is important to try to balance your emotions with how your friend may be feeling. Many people choose to give space to someone who has heard this bad news. While there is certainly benefit in having boundaries, it is important to let your friend know that they aren’t alone and ensure they are not isolated. You want to feel them more included and understood and let them share their emotions about the diagnosis. Here are some ways to gently communicate:
- Ask your friend if they want to talk about this subject.
- Learn with them and educate them about dementia from reliable sources.
- Use supportive body gestures and positive language to help them get reassurance.
- Practice what you need to say to them and try to avoid showing your own anxiety or worry in front of them.
| Accept their Emotions | A person's personality, past experiences, knowledge of dementia, level of social and emotional support they receive, and surroundings all influence how they respond to dementia. Individuals may use various coping mechanisms depending on the situation. It's possible for some people to be unaware that they have dementia. They might contest that they are having problems. Even while some people are aware that their life is getting difficult, they believe that this is just a natural aspect of aging and not a sign of dementia. Therefore, it is important to realize that acceptance of the disease by the sufferer requires time. Avoid pushing too much at this instance or make them forcefully understand about Dementia. Rather, wait until they are ready to talk about it but meanwhile, offer your full support and timely presence so they always feel supported. |
| Spend Time Together Like Before | Even though your friendship might evolve as the illness progresses, you might both benefit greatly from your ongoing presence in your friend's life. Consider what initially drew you two together and try to keep your attention on that rather than what has been lost. If they are facing memory loss and often fail to recognize you, try not to take it personally but rather speak about the good times you spent together. It is equally important to not pressure them into recalling past events or asking questions like: ‘Don’t you remember? How could you forget? Or what else do you remember?’ As these questions might trigger anxiety towards their condition. |
| Help Them with Daily Activities | A person with dementia may start to face challenges in their daily routine. They are forgetful, tired, worried and may often be losing something but unable to remember what. They also wish to remain capable like before but the decline in cognitive abilities compromises daily routine. Therefore, the best you can do is offer them aid with their daily tasks. This aid doesn’t need to be too overt but rather should be subtle, so they don’t feel controlled. The best way to help those with cognitive impairment in the early stages is by helping them set reminders, performing activities with them like cooking, ironing, exercising and other routine tasks. Using aids like notes, colourful calendars and messages will help them keep track of routine duties. |
| Encourage them to Join a community | You as a friend might be very dedicated towards making their journey easier but only someone who undergoes dementia understands how it may feel to be in their situation. They are not always able to communicate how they are feeling and might often feel frustrated looking at the lives of others around them. Therefore, it is important to join a community of people who have undergone similar experiences. Communities like Deter Dementia offer programs where dementia sufferers can contact each other, speak about their struggles or share relatable experiences. |
Being told your friend has dementia can be difficult to process at times. You may have known this person for many years and noticed their personality changing a bit over the past while. They may have been more withdrawn, less talkative, and possibly repeating themselves more than they used to.
You are lucky that your friend (or their family) consider you close enough to share such a diagnosis with you. Unfortunately due to the stigma associated with any cognitive condition, many people choose not to share it and simply become less engaged with friends due to fear of them finding out or fear of being judged.
You have an important role to play for your friend but we also need to take care of you. You may be wondering what you can do to deter dementia for yourself. You may be looking for focused strategies to help reduce your risk and allow you to be there for your friend but also for yourself and your family.
Deter Dementia was created to help you navigate this complex area and find solutions for both yourself and your friend.
We have resources for your friend if you’re closely involved in their life and looking to help. We also have lots of information on this site to help you. You can sign up for our newsletter to get regular updates or even join our Deter Dementia University program to educate yourself as much as possible.
Your role as a friend may be a bit different than it used to be, but your friend will need you more than ever now. By learning more about their condition and the ways you can help, you’ll help that friend that means so much to you and possibly even help their family in the process.
If you want to do everything in your power to deter dementia for yourself, we’ll help you do that as well. We have lots of information on how to deter dementia and even more in-depth, customizable solutions for you if you were interested.
Thank you for being an amazing friend and trying to do your part for the person that means so much to you. Let’s work together and make this easier for your friend, and also for you.
